Just Be Thankful....

So things happen for a reason...Yah Yah..I know that! But it doesn't seem so easy to understand when it happens to you!
I guess its worse when you least expect it. Some people become hateful then start wondering "Why Me"??? Or you choose to stay depressed and not look on the bright side of things.
All these emotions and feelings were exactly what was going through my head when my Dr told me today that I wont be able to have any more kids after I give birth to our 3rd baby in January.
I immediately thought..What the hell did I do to deserve this?! Why would THIS happen to ME?!
Thinking about these thoughts make me soo ashamed right now, because you know what? Its not about Who, What or Why...because awful things happen to good people all the time.
Ive come to realize that I was selfish in those first few hours of thinking about all this.
What I failed to do was stop and think of what I've already been blessed with and that the Lord wouldn't give you more than he knows you could handle.
I had to call Teki and give him the news because my mom was the one who was with me at my appointment today, he immediately told me "Hon..Its gonna be okay! We have 2 beautiful children and 1 on the way..That's enough in itself".
Me being stubborn...I really didn't want to listen to him saying this. I wanted him to know how I was feeling..and I was feeling mad, confused, and hateful. But he seen what I had not at the time.
It didn't really hit me until my mom and I were in the car driving home and I was just crying thinking of the horrible news I just received...thinking of only myself..and of what I wanted...it wasn't until my mom had put her hand on my arm and said "Sweetheart, I know how your feeling right now and I understand your hurt..but please think of all the women who are not able to have even 1 child, the women who can not carry out their babies full term and end up losing them before they even had them. Think of those ladies Lisa and be grateful that God has blessed you with the children you already have. My heart goes out to them..and although it seems so bad, just know that things happen for a reason."
I can seriously tell you..I pretty much felt like I was about 2 inches tall!!
I didn't stop to think of all that..I didn't stop to think of those women who are trying so hard to have just 1 child..and here I am with 2, soon to be 3!! It hadn't dawned on me that I'm not the only one suffering in this world, there's things way worse than my situation happening today and I'm over here acting like a planet fell on me!! So when I got home, I laid down and thought of all the things I should be Thankful for...sooo many things..Its unbelievable.
Just a few to mention though..would be:
My Lord & Savior Jesus Christ, My Husband & Children, My MOM & Dad, My Family altogether, I'm Thankful for My Church, Great Friends & also My Health.
All these things keep me grounded and remind me that I am one lucky lady.
It turns out that with me having previous C-sections with Maddison & Ty...I fell into the 2% group of women who's placenta has settled into the scar of my C-section. Meaning..if they perform a normal C-section, they'll cut into the placenta and there's a really big chance I'll bleed to death. So what will happen is right after the baby is taken out, the Dr will have to perform a hysterectomy. Because my Dr told me this is life-threatening..I've become even MORE Thankful that there is a way around it.
So when I compare not having any more children vs. not being here with them anymore...Well...Its not a comparison!!
Its another reason to Thank God for what he's already given you.
I'm Thankful for so much and I've learned a really huge lesson. Sometimes..that's what it takes for you to see such things and I could never think so selfish again. I cant wait until our baby Hunter is here..He'll be our last child and a reminder of this huge lesson.
But nevertheless..He'll be here. So when your feeling like things couldn't get worse for you..stop and think that there's a reason for these things and it does get better. Look on the bright side of every bad situation your presented with...there's always something good to look forward to afterwards.
What a coincidence that this would be brought to my attention around Thanksgiving! I love my family and all that I have and so for that...I'll just be Thankful.